Putting on the presenters hat

Yesterday was a new milestone for me - co-running my first teacher meeting!

I was a bit nervous leading up to it, but actually it was more excitement as the topic is a passion and sharing that with others always brings a sense of joy. The actual presentation I felt went well mostly, apart from the odd fumbling of pages, making sure I hadn't forgotten to share any of my notes and the bit where I kicked the bucket of pens everywhere!

It felt really good be able to talk about and share what the team had been up to. Emma and I complement each other in many ways, and Emma (with far more experience in leadership) is doing a great job of extending me in my ability to both think about and articulate my ideas more clearly. 

It was wonderful to get some great feedback from teachers today - saying they enjoyed the meeting and appreciating the great deal of work that has gone into what seems like a very small slice of what is to be done. 

Getting nice feedback is always a good feeling, but it's the more specific stuff that will help me to grow and learn. 

One person said that they really liked my manner as I was presenting and sharing. 

Another gave me some more critical feedback (which was probably not intended this way, but was good to hear anyway). They said I had done a good job coping with co-presenting and that from their experience they knew how hard it is when presenting with someone who is good at talking off the cuff to an audience and how when you have your notes you want to go through in the planned order and make sure everything is covered. 

This unveiled a big realisation for me - something I think I already knew, except this was the moment of true-recognition: I have not yet developed confidence that I actually do know what I'm talking about. I rely too much my notes as though they are the only ones who can 'think' for me in a public situation. 

Next week, we have session two. I think I'm going to try to put the notes to the side, be more present in 'reading the room' and engage in the 'feeling' of the day.

Here I am clutching my notes as though my life depends on them!